2011 KSSL - Finals: Preview

Cletus Van Damme (cletus_van_damme@hotmail.com)

TUESDAY MORNING CATCHER ON A FRIDAY: SPECIAL EDITION 

2011 KSSL - Finals: Preview

- Friday, September 23th, 2011 -
 

So now it has begun! We have finally entered the home stretch of the season, the crème de la crème, the place were real men are born and champions are made…the KSSL finals!

On one hand you have Lester’s Farm, who led the regular season standings throughout the duration of the season, and on the other you have the defending champions Ron’s Roofing. Both teams were one game away from elimination in their respective semi-final series’, before overcoming the difficult predicament they were in - by pulling out victories in games two and three. So you can say both teams are riding high heading into the finals.

Lester’s were a surprise 1^st place team this year. The impressive thing about it was that they were able to do this minus the #1 overall pick, Tommy Harris, who missed a large portion of the season through injuries and getting himself married (side note: who is this incredible women to marry this slouch?). How did they manage to do this? Well let’s start off with JJ Dray. JJ really took the Toronto Blue Jays Flashback Fridays to heart this season, by reverting himself to a 90’s version of himself, by not only playing his usual stellar defense but by ripping the ball apart (finished 6^th in hitting with a .516 AVG). Instead of becoming an aging “has been” (Hello, Greg Haggerty!), JJ was arguably the most reliable member of Lester’s this season.

Next up you can talk about their amazing D, primarily from the left side of the infield with Dexter Spurrell on 3^rd and Dave Pike on SS. This was easily the best defensive left side in the league. Another important factor to their great infield was the improved play of Scott Murphy. Scott easily gets the CVD vote for most improved player this season. He was a pillar on 1^st base and came up with some clutch hitting. You can throw in late round steal Jimmy Fitz who is deceptively quick with the glove, batted .371 and had the league’s best ERA. Not too shabby. It’s too bad he wears that terrible fucking Mike Vick Eagles jersey. Hideous.

The outfield, minus JJ, also consists of KSSL career leader in HR’s and RBI’s Morely Smith. Moe, besides being the dynamite hitter and fielder that he is, always seems to hit that HR when your team truly needs it. He’s a gamer. Derek Fleming is also around for a few laughs, due to his 25% strike out rate (KSSL career leader in this category). Keep the K’s coming, baby! Tommy “Superstar” Harris is ready to go full force for the finals. His combination of speed, power, brains, and glove is something no other player in the league has. Finally there is CVD favorite, Mike Brock. For every time he calls someone a “cunt”, good ole Brock smashes a moon shot HR. What a guy! Rounding out the roster is the experienced Phil Grouchy, who adds much needed leadership to the lineup, Chris Ryan Jr., a super utility player, and Keith Pope, who as the year went on improved his batting steadily.

The defending champions Ron’s Roofing are heading into the finals with one simple mission…to repeat. Led by Ched Whelan the Roofers were able to scrape by Stanley’s Irving in a hard fought three game series. The Roofers main problem this season seemed to be fielding their complete roster on any given Sunday. If it wasn’t Luke Stoyles falling off a ladder, it was guys like Mental Murphy and Robbie Leaman pulling their hammies running the bases, Ross Courtney’s body shattering after dropping a ball, or the ‘will he/won’t he’ show up of Blair Connelly. Finally it seems the team is at full force.

The glaring weakness heading into the season for the Roofers was outside of former Gold Glove winner Skinny Whitten, how was their infield D going to shape up? In comes former Waterford Valley legend Robbie Leaman. After a rough start to the season, mainly because he hasn’t played ball in awhile, Bumpers quickly made Ched forgot that hole he thought he’d have to worry about on 3rd. Ryan Foley and Blair Marshall, two catchers/1^st base players (which essentially in KSSL dictionary means that you are worthless) shared duties on 2^nd base. And while neither are exactly known for their Robbie Alomar range, they both went deep into the season without making an error. Then there’s Lucky, or as I like to call him Unlucky, Luke Stoyles. Let’s face it, Luke is one of the premium hitters in the league. A late season addition of Kirk Stoyles adds much need speed and debt to the roster. Finally Mental Murphy, with his junk, takes the mound. The great thing about Mental is that when it’s time to really get a hit, he’ll always come through in the clutch.

The Roofers real strength lies in their amazing outfield. Ched Whelan is the star of the bunch. Ched for the past half decade always manages to finish in the top five of the Triple Crown categories. On top of this, the young stud is the surest of sure catches in the entire league. Koo Condon, who took all kinds of hate from Steve Kenny this season, because of his abnormal early season hitting, seemed to find the light at the end of the tunnel after he got thrown into the drunk tank after an all night bender late in the season. Koo has been tearing the shit out of the the ball ever since. And remember this, Koo is the guy who runs after balls like a monster girthy ebony cock was just inserted up his ass. Rocket launcher! Remember that one Jonny Murph? One of the KSSL’s breakout stars, Blair Connelly, holds the fort in RF. Also included is the speed demon Ross Courtney, who has seemed to find his niche playing rover. Finally there’s the worst career hitter in KSSL Brad Williams. What can you say about Brad besides his KSSL history worst batting average and pulling a Buckner in last weekend’s game 3? Not much….

CVD’s 100% Guarantee 

After going a pathetic 0-4 on predictions for this year’s Classic, I fully guarantee I’ll get it right this time. Here’s the breakdown:

Pitching: ADV Ron’s Roofing

Debrief: As good as Jimmy Fitz has been this year, the advantage has to go to Mental Murphy. Mental is a huge question mark though, having missed last week’s action due to an injured hammy. Even so, if Mental isn’t ready to go Luke Stoyles can jump right into his place.

Infield: Slight ADV Lester’s Farm

Debrief: Pikey and Dex’s stout D, is enough for the slight edge over “Pull Hitter!” Skinny and Luke.

Outfield: Slight ADV Ron’s Roofing
 

Debrief: Ched vs Moe = Push; Koo > JJ; Connelly > Brock (I’ll take his D over Brock); Tommy > Ross

Deciding factor here is the Roofers have more speed, hence more range, to make the difficult catches.

Intangibles: ADV Ron’s Roofing

Debrief: Defending champions earn right to have this one.

Final Outcome: Roofers in 3.

Playoff MVP: Ched Whelan

* Remember: This is 100% guaranteed

In case you’re wondering the KSSL Pro-Line odds for winning the championship are:

2.40

2.30

A song for the road, Isis & Aereogramme - Low Tide

2011 KSSL - The Classic: Preview

Cletus Van Damme (cletus_van_damme@hotmail.com)

TUESDAY MORNING CATCHER ON A FRIDAY: SPECIAL EDITION

The Classic: Preview

- Friday, August 19th, 2011 -

After countless deliberations of when the Classic would go down, the day is nearly upon us; tomorrow in fact. This year continues the trend that was started last year, with four teams playing for all the glory. On one end you have the defending champions, and two-time winners, Kilbride. Can they repeat and chant those ridiculous cheers they all love to shoot their mouths off to? Then there's everybody's favorite villains, Waterford Valley. Can they finally lose the classic chokers label they've been riding for years? Next up is the David of the David and Goliath, the Misfits. Can they shock the world and win it for the second time, but minus their two best players Dwayne Prince and Adam Smith? Finally there's the Old Sam Generals, who went by the Rejects last year. Can this team made up of a mixture of current and former players with a couple of newbies make some noise?

Let's break things down a little further starting with the Old Sam Generals. What are their odds in winning the Classic? Kilbride Lotto Corporation (KLC) lists the odds as 12-1. Not very good but we've seen bigger shockers. First off, who'll be pitching for this team? I have no idea but we may see team captain Eddy Power take the reigns or maybe someone like Dave Penney. A dark horse could be the living Legend Bas Whelan. If Bas pitches, watch out, the odds will definitely be lowered.

The outfield should consist of Steve Brown, Sebastien Vallin and possibly the greatest player who's ever performed in the Classic, 'The Defector' Ched Whelan - who is now playing for his fourth team in the Classic's short history. If you all remember our friend Ched who once wore the proud colors of gold and black, defected the Valley when he took his luggage, and the rest of his shit, just over the Huck's hills, moving into the mean streets of Myrick. Well, Ched was the fella, arsehole by some, who hit a walk off home run, winning the Classic for Kilbride in '08. Can Ched pull off some more magic this year? If Old Sam's has any chance he'll have to come up big.

The infield should consist of the likes of Eddy Power, Robbie Leeman, Terry Lawlor, Ryan Foley and Neil Murphy. Not exactly a powerhouse but the job should be able to get done.

Old Sam's is going to need some solid D, and the lead off guys to get on so Ched and Brownie can knock 'em in. If they can't achieve it, they could be a quick two and done in the tourney.

Cletus's bold prediction: 3rd place. After losing to Kilbride in their first game of the day, they will take out the Misfits because of superior D. They will then lose in the semi's to the game 3 loser.

The Misfits shocked all of Kilbride and all the surrounding area's in '09, when they took down the Mighty Valley in the semi's after trailing by a large score. Then they destroyed Kilbride in the Finals led behind the amazing play of Dwayne Prince. Nobody expects them to do it again but I wanna know, why the fuck not? KLC lists their odds of winning it at 10-1.

Starting off at the top, one of the league's biggest surprises of the season, Jimmy Fitz takes over as new team captain. Jimmy, who yields the league's best ERA this year, is going to have to be at his best for the Misfits to have any chance this week. The main question this team is faced with is, who will play short? Dexter is firmly set at 3rd, with Scott Murphy (CVD most improved player) at 1st. Then there's second base, Keety Pope or Blair Marshall can share this base if need be. Mike Baird can possible play IF or OF as well. Not sure where he'll be getting his playing time. But again, who plays short? Does Dexter move over to an unfamiliar position? I guess we will find out on Saturday.

The Misfts outfield should be decent with either Blair Connelly or Ross Courtney taking CF. Sharky Whelan will probably play LF with Mike Brock in RF or rover. Evil Twin, Robin Courtney is also available as well. Not bad, not bad at all.

For the Misfits to have any chance Jimmy has to continue with his strong play and you're gonna have to see Ross get on base, and on base a lot, and for Brock, Connelly and Sharky to knock in the runs. A good trio of big hitters there.

Cletus's bold prediction: 4th place. I can't shake the thought of who'll be playing short.

Kilbride, the loudmouths of the league. The guys who don't shut up. We all know Jason Thompson and Luke Stoyles will be breaking out the trash talk (who will they pick on this year?), but will they back it up?

Team captain Jimmy Rodden has surrounded himself with all the usual suspects. Mental Murphy, with his huge arsenal of pitches, is set on the mound. Billy Gorman and Luke Stoyles will probably share 1st base duties. Can't go wrong there. Jonny Murphy will be at second and Kirk Stoyles at 3rd. Solid stuff right there. Then there's good ole Jimmy. Jimmy was the hero in last season's Classic, making play after play. His glove became a blanket by the end of it, he was that good. But good ole Jimmy made a boo boo in the 9th inning last week that you could say cost his team the game. You could just see Jimmy struggle with his failure. Is it still in his head? Can he move on to the next play or will he let it fester? I was gonna say he'd move on and continue his amazing defensive play but after his favorite show Entourage had perhaps its worse episode in it's entire history later that night, I wouldn't be surprised if JR is on suicide watch!

Kilbride's outfield will consist of Jason Thompson in left, JJ Dray (who is looking like he's 18 years old this season) in center and Jeff Murphy in right. Moe Smith will play his usual rover and Scott Howell is also set to play anywhere out there. Excellent stuff! Strong bats and good defense.

Kilbride are listed as KLC favorite's at 5-2 odds. You can't argue that, they always seem to rise to the occasion and as a team never quit, and as the two -time champs they've earned the right to be favorite's. For them to win though, they have to continue playing mistake free ball, continue their loud antics, and maintain the timely hitting they always seem to manage. I'm sure we will see some of this on display on Saturday.

Cletus's bold prediction: 2nd place. After beating the Misfits in their first game, Kilbride will lose to a sobered Valley in game 3. They will then take down Old Sam's in a sloppy affair before losing to the Mighty Valley in the finals.

Finally, there's the Valley. The "Dream Team"? No, the long time chokers. This is a team that is staked from top to bottom. Are these losers finally going to become winners? Is this finally their year? On paper this is the team to beat, but according to KLC not so. They're listed at 3-1 odds to win, slightly behind Kilbride.

Valley is loaded everywhere starting with the young ace Steve "Splinter" Kenny. Splinter has been one of the surprises of the league so far, batting .449 with a league leading 6 walks! Next up is the Valley's loaded IF. Former gold glover Aoo Condon on 3rd, Dave Pike on SS, another former gold glover on 2nd and possibly Rick Smith and Chris Jacobs on 1st. Unheralded Chris Murphy (0 for August!) can play either IF or OF. Seriously, can you say loaded?

If you thought the IF was loaded, check out of the OF, with more former gold glover's in Robert Smith (the early favorite for this years MVP) and Koo Condon. Then there's the league's best spread hitter Gord Payne and strike out king Derek Fleming. Team captain Thomas "Super Star" Harris, another former gold glover, is listed as doubtful for the Classic, having suffered an injured rib on Wednesday. If he can't go it's going to be a huge loss but Valley will have to "win won for the Gipper".

For Valley to win they're probably going to have to jump out to quick starts because, in the past, when they get down they basically quit. Unlike they're biggest rivals, Kilbride, this team seems to be missing some heart. They're going to have to start gutting things out or they'll continue to be a bunch of losers.

Cletus's bold prediction: 1st place, Champions of the '11 Classic. This is the year folks. This is the year Rick Smith finally puts his Classic struggles behind him. This is the year Steve Kenny finally doesn't allow that huge late inning homer. This is the year Valley grows some grit! Throw in the amazing D from all the countless gold glover's and this is the year Valley finally gets over the hump and become champions.

So that's a wrap. See y'all on Saturday for some good times, good games, good drunks, good people, and hopefully non-burnt burgers!

Now, I leave you with some Bungle.

2011 KSSL - Week 9 - Post-Mortem

Cletus Van Damme (cletus_van_damme@hotmail.com)

TUESDAY MORNING CATCHER ON A WEDNESDAY

- Sunday June 26th, 2011 -

HUCK FIELD, St. John’s, NL

It was a moment that has been over two years in the making. Through backroom dealings and underground bribes, involving syndicate mouthpieces (and who the fuck knows the rest), a living legend finally made his KSSL debut (begrudgingly, check out the 2009 exclusive interview HERE). Yeah, that’s right; Bas Whelan finally strapped on his cleats and trotted out to the Huck, to a glorious standing ovation, on this magical evening full of celestial bliss. Chilling...

4:00 p.m NT

14 11

Dave Pike snaps out of season long slump, leads Lester’s past Irving

After blowing an early nine run lead, Lester’s Farm escaped with the victory, thanks to a huge game from Dave Pike and a couple of late home runs from Moe Smith and Mike Brock.

In the 1^st inning, Lester’s jumped out fast, putting up a five-spotter behind a three-run homer from Brock. A couple of late inning shady defensive miscues cost Irving two more runs. Then in the 2^nd, Lester’s managed to put in four more runs thanks in part, once again, to a couple more costly errors by Irving. Scott Murphy and Brock had the RBI’s.

Looking down and out, Irving finally woke up from their long lasting sleep (or in the case of Rob Smith, a hangover) in the 4th inning by putting up their own five-spotter. Rick Smith, who has looked anything but the league’s reigning MVP this year, smashed a two-run bomb, giving the team their first runs of the evening. Later in the inning Jonny Murphy would add two more runs off a single and Steve Kenny would put in the final run.

Heading into the 5^th and with the score 10-5, Irving would make a game of it. Chris Whelan and Rob Smith would lead the inning off with back-to-back doubles. After Aoo Condon drew a walk, Scott Murphy (or so the book says E3) would make an error on a Rick Smith ball, which would give Irving two more runs. Mike Baird would follow with an RBI single, making it a 10-9 game.

Flash it to the 7^th inning and Irving would finally erase the nine run deficit they faced. In a shocking turn of events, more errors were the cost of the tying run! After a leadoff double by Jeff Murphy, Dave Pike would make his only blunder of the day on another error off the bat of Rick Smith. But the downfall for Lester’s wouldn’t last for long, when Moe and Brock hit back-to-back solo jacks for a 13-11 lead. Continuing a season-long trend; the bats from Irving would take a multiple inning nap. They would go down quickly in the 8^th and 9^th innings, losing by a final score of 14-11.

- POGs -

Dave Pike (4-4, 3 R, 2B, RBI)

Aoo Condon (2-4, 2 R, BB)

- NOTABLES-

Mike Brock (2-4, 2 R, 2 HR, 5 RBI) Scott Murphy (3-5, R, 2B, 2 RBI) Moe Smith (2-5, 2 R, HR, 2 RBI)

Rob Smith (3-4, R, 2B, RBI) Mike Baird (2-4, R, RBI) Rick Smith (1-4, 2 R, HR, 2 RBI)

5:30 p.m NT

8 6

Living legend Bas Whelan makes his KSSL debut, helps Roofers to third straight W

There is always talk about certain epic events of our lives. People love to talk about what happened during a historic game, “do you remember that play?” or they’ll talk about the situation that led to it, or my favorite “oh my god you were there...live!?”. Using baseball as a reference the biggest one you hear is, where were you when ‘The Shot was Heard 'Round The World’? Well folks, on Sunday we witnessed something none of us thought could ever be possible, a minor miracle in its own right. The Shamrock legend, the fast pitch softball legend, hell even the post office legend, Bas “Big Barrel” Whelan walked up to the field ready to play some slow pitch softball!

With a delicious aroma that Bas kept feeding us, there was a little somethin’ extra on the field. There was a buzz unlike anything we’ve ever witnessed before, small children through telepathic force, or some supernatural event, were slowly drawn to the field (mesmerized); women’s faces were seen clutched to the windows of the surrounding houses (perplexed) to find out what was going on. Men were out watering their lawns but were they? Bas had drawn them out like Roland of Gilead.

After a couple of warm up tosses we were finally ready for some ball. In the 1st inning, the Roofers came out on fire, scoring three runs off of RBI’s from Koo Condon and Mental Murphy. Pike’s Store would bounce right back scoring two runs with RBI’s off of hits from Billy Gorman and Jason Whalen.

In the 3rd inning, trailing 4-2, Pike’s would take the lead by scoring three runs on a RBI single from Whalen and RBI’s off of bases loaded walks from Sharky Whelan and Eddy Power.

In the 4th, the Roofers came right back with the man of the hour, Bas Whelan, scoring the tying run. Ross Courtney would drive in two runs off a double and Koo would add another run for a 7-5 lead. Suddenly a small group of people showed up to the field expecting to play a game. Did they really book the field after us like they claimed? Because of this, the normal nine inning game was downgraded to seven innings. As a conspiracy theorist it’s in my belief that this “game” was really an excuse to see Big Barrel Bas. Once again Bas had drawn folks to the field.

Unfortunately for Pike’s the shortened game was of no use to them. They quietly went down in the later innings losing by a score of 8-6, losing for the third straight game and falling to a league’s worst 2-7.

- POGs -

Koo Condon (4-4, R, 2B, 2 RBI)

Billy Gorman (4-4, R, 2 RBI)

- NOTABLES -

Ross Courtney (2-3, 3 R, 2B, BB, 2 RBI) Brad Williams (2-3) Ched Whelan (2-4, R)

Jason Whalen (3-4, R, 2 RBI) Freddy Cox (2-3) Jimmy Rodden (2-4)

- NEXT WEEK'S ACTION (PRO-LINE: KSSL EDITION) -

4:00 p.m @ V 2.40 T 3.05 H 2.10

5:30 p.m @ V 2.60 T 3.15 H 2.00

Get your bets in!

The New Legend of Big Barrel Bas?

After the days slate of games, a handful of bodies went back for a post-game gathering at Myrick Place to shoot the shit, drink some cold beers, eat a couple of burnt dogs, and to a have a few games of washers. What nobody expected (but should have been expected) was that the living legend himself would dominate everyone in a game of washers.

In a post-game interview, over blue tooth, Bas told me, while laughing, “ I never would have showed up if it was raining”. Lucky for us it didn’t. It was his in-laws 60^th anniversary weekend, so family members from all over came to celebrate it. One member of the family was dying for a game and would only come up if Bas played too. So by the grace of god, everything aligned perfectly to allow this part of history to go down.

After a few cold ones Bas stepped up to the washer boxes and blew everyone away, with throw after throw going into the small box as if it was a Peter Cornick catcher’s mitt. Even washer superstar Adam Smith couldn’t defeat the Big Barrel. All Fake Name would say was, The Natural. At the end of the night Karyn Murphy and Karen Power challenged Bas and team member/family member Doug to a game. Well I’d be lying if I was telling you I wasn’t impressed. Steve Kenny was overheard telling Bas to “take no mercy” on them. Eight throws later, with all washers going in, Bas and Doug skunked the girls 11-0! Bas is a man who doesn’t believe in women & children first. Gotta love that!

- PROPAGANDA –

What is Cletus watching on TV?

Currently I’m on a marathon of Season 6 of Supernatural. I’m also in the midst of the latest seasons of Breaking Bad, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Weeds. Entourage just started again but there wasn’t enough young natural titties. L

Sick High School Dunker

Shaquille Johnson is only in high school, you'll be seeing him at Auburn in 2012, and is listed at 6'4. He can jump so his eyes are at eye level to the rim. It's pretty sick! Oh yeah, and in the second video below he jumps over 6'8 James McAdoo, who's going to North Carolina and will be a top five pick in next years draft (and he'll be helping Carolina win the championship next year!). Not none of that bullshit lame ass jump over a two and half foot front end of a car dunk that won the dunk title for Blake Griffin. Check it out...

- CVD vs WORLD NEWS -

Big news in the world recently. Actor Dough Hutchison who is best known for playing Horace Goodspeed, the leader of the Dharma Initiative, in Lost and the evil prison guard in The Green Mile just got married. Congrats Doug! Big time fan of your work. Great character actor. I even enjoyed him in 24, Kidnapped and The X-Files. Just great stuff. Why am I writing this for a small time character actor who many of you probably never even knew existed? Well, the problem is Doug is 51 years old and his new bride, well .. she's 16! Courtney Alexis Stodden is a 16 year old aspiring pop/country singer. She has big tits, which obviously look fake, and it looks like she's pushing 30. She promises she is 100% real, "My breasts are real. Everything about me is real. My hair is real. My teeth are real. My eyelashes are real. My breasts are totally real, believe it or not, they are." It's quite hilarious. What a creepy wedding photo above.

According to Courtney's mom, Kristen Stodden, "Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl." So our good ole pal Doug took her virginity on their wedding day? Just typing this makes me laugh. With parental consent these two lovebirds were allowed to get married in the state of Nevada. Courtney's mom says, "We are totally supportive of this marriage. Doug is a wonderful man, and we love him." Doug's new father-in-law is four years Doug's junior. Alex Stodden says, "Every father can only pray to have such a man behind their daughter". What is the saying, Only In America?

Barely legal teens are totally awesome, but "not quite" legal teens? AVOID and PASS... I'll wait 'til these whores turn 18.

So Doug now joins the ranks of Morgan Freeman, R Kelly, Jerry Lee Lewis, and everybody's favorite Woody Allen, in the like's of super creepy dudes. Again, we salute you!

Now I leave you with the smear campaign message that Mac sent out about Dennis in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia's classic episode 'The Gangs Runs For Office':

"When Dennis Reynolds was a counselor at Camp Cumberland, he was sent home for the statutory rape of a teenage camper. A vote for Dennis Reynolds is a vote for underage rape. Dennis Reynolds, BABY RAPIST. Don't let him rape you, Philadelphia."

Check the two lovebirds out on Good Morning America

Here's Courtney singing Car Candy! Oh, it's available on iTunes!

Another one from Courney, this time she is singing Don't Put It On Me! Also, available on iTunes!

That's some hot tracks!

- CVD's MUSIC OF THE WEEK –

Fantômas are an avant-garde metal supergroup comprised of vocalist/keys/sampling/bandleader Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle/Tomahawk/many others), guitarist Buzz Osbourne aka King Buzzo (The Melvins), bassist Trevor Dunn (Mr. Bungle) and drummer Dave Lombardo (Slayer). They’re totally crazy and really, really awesome! The Directors Cut, an album with reinterpretations of motion picture theme songs is one of the best albums this century. No doubt!

Fantômas vs Al Green

Fantômas vs The Godfather

Fantômas vs Cape Fear

Fantômas vs Twin Peaks

Fantômas vs Slayer

- CODA -

What a week! It’s gonna be hard to beat this one. What’s next, is Japper gonna lace it up soon? See ya Sunday!

2011 KSSL - Week 7 - Post-Mortem

Cletus Van Damme (cletus_van_damme@hotmail.com)

TUESDAY MORNING CATCHER ON A THURSDAY

- Sunday June 26th, 2011 -

HUCK FIELD, St. John’s, NL

On a day where the wind breezes was blowing down beer cans from the seats and stands; on a day where Skinny Whitten suggested to Japper that he may need a razor for his back/neck hair; on a day where loud mouthed Steve Kenny had no voice, there were two ball games played: one a slugfest, the other ... not so much ...

4:00 p.m NT

22 11

Stanley’s Irving destroy Pike’s Store behind Mike Baird’s 6 RBI’s

In a game that nearly got away from them, Stanley’s Irving rebounded by scoring 12 runs in the final three innings, with contributions from everyone.

In the 1st inning Irving jumped out to a quick start when Greg Buckingham hit a beauty of a triple into right center, giving Irving a 2-0 lead. In the bottom half Pike’s Store scored their first run of the game with two outs when Jason Thompson (making his debut as a KSSL spare), on a Adam Smith pop fly to the warning track, called “Mine! Mine!”, pulling up Robert Smith, only to completely miss the ball. I guess missing all this time has affected his play ...

Thompson would quickly put the blunder behind him by leading the next inning off with a single. Good things really do come in bunches because Irving would go on to bang out hit after hit, scoring a five-spotter, with the hit of the inning coming from POG Mike Baird - who ripped off a bases clearing double. But Pike’s would dig deep and score four runs of their own in the bottom of 3rd, thanks in large part to a two-out triple by Craig “Spaniard” Sheppard, making it a 8-5 game.

In the 4th Irving extended their lead off of RBI singles from Jonny Murphy and Thompson. But once again Pike’s hung in there scoring two runs in the 5th, keeping the game close at 10-7.

Irving, throughout the season, have been known to jump out to quick leads, only to falter in the middle to later stages. And once again it looked like they would be doing down the same path, going down quickly in the 5th and 6th innings. But then something happened, Rick Smith, in Vince Lombardi-esque fashion, called his team out for letting up too much in these situations. They would respond immediately, scoring three runs (RBI’s from Rob Smith, Bairdo, and Kenny) in the top of the 7th and then putting the game away in the 8th with their second five-spotter of the game (RBI’s from Bairdo [2], Rick Smith, Kenny, Jonny). They would add four more runs to their tally in the 9th, winning by a final score of 22-11.

Game Notes: Rob Smith would start the day off with two hits, extending his hitting streak to 11 straight hits, before lining out to Adam Smith. If we went back into the KSSL’s archives, we may find out that this is a KSSL record. Can anyone think of something better?

- POGs -

Mike Baird (3-6, 2 R, 2 2B, 6 RBI)

Jimmy Rodden (3-6, 2 R, 2B)

- NOTABLES -

Rob Smith (5-7, 5 R, 2B, 3 RBI) Greg Buckingham (4-6, R, 2B, 3B, 2 RBI) Steve Kenny (3-6, BB, 3 RBI)

Adam Smith (4-5, 2 R, 2B, RBI) Craig Sheppard (3-5, R, 3B, 4 RBI) Gord Payne (3-5, 3 R, 2B)

5:30 p.m NT

7 2

Roofers take down 1st place Lester’s Farm in low scoring affair

In a game that was dictated by the winds and an outstanding defensive performance, Ron's Roofing took down Lester's Farm for the second time this season, winning by a score of 7-2.

In the bottom of the 1st inning team captain Ched Whelan started things off for the Roofers by driving in Skinny Whitten with an RBI triple, putting them ahead 1-0. The score would stay the same all the way until the 6th inning. Both teams struggled with the ferocious winds that was on hand. The wind gusts (which had to be upwards of 60-70 clicks) were absolutely brutal, yet both teams overcame these gusts by continuously catching every fly ball hit in their vicinity,

The Roofers added to their lead in the 6th off of a double by Mental Murphy, which scored two runs and a 3-0 lead. Lester's Farm finally put a run on the board in the 7th inning when Keith Pope drove in Dexter Spurrell. But the Roofers would put the game away in the bottom half when they exploded for four runs, with RBI's from Ross Courtney and Luke Stoyles. The also got help from a Dave Pike error (E6 anyways), which contributed to two unearned runs.

It was a dismal day at the plate for Lesters. They could only manage 8 total hits in the game (Jimmy Fitz was their only played who had a multiple hit game). You don't see line scores this bad that often. The only play of notice for the team was an amazing grab by catcher Phil Grouchy in the later part of the game.

For the Roofers, Luke Stoyles earned the POG with a three hit day, while Mental Murphy gets recognition for only allowing 8 hits.

- POGs -

Luke Stoyles (3-4, R, 2B, RBI)

Scott Murphy (1-3, 2B, BB, RBI)

- NOTABLES -

Skinny Whitten (2-4, 2 R) Mental Murphy (1-4, 2B, 2 RBI, 9 IP, 2 R, K, 8 H) Stu Power (2-4, R)

Jimmy Fitz (2-4) Dexter Spurell (1-3, R, BB) Keith Pope (1-3, RBI)

- NEXT WEEK'S ACTION (PRO-LINE: KSSL EDITION) -

4:00 p.m @ V 2.60 T 3.15 H 2.10

5:30 p.m @ V 2.70 T 3.15 H 2.00

Get your bets in!

- MAILBAG -

Taking a break for the foreseeable future.

- PROPAGANDA -

- CVD's MUSIC OF THE WEEK -

The originators of prog-rock, the Tool before Tool, King Crimson!

- CVD's BOOK OF THE WEEK -

The Choirboys by Joseph Lambaugh

Not only is this the best cop novel ever witten, it's by far the funniest book ... period. Just a brilliant extremely dark (remember though: it's funny!) novel written by former-cop turned writer, Joseph Wambaugh. In the 36 years since it's been written, basically all cop shows/novels rip something off from Wambaugh. From the 'Insufferable Prick' Roscoe Rules - who wished a word as dirty as "nigger" to apply to all mankind (this is what Colvin Potts, the only black choirboy, had to say, "That's the only thing I like about you, Roscoe. You don't just hate brothers. You hate everyone. Even more than I do. Without prejudice or bias".) and came up with Scrotes, "That's what all people are: ignorant filthy disgusting ugly worthless scrotes." - to the loveable, but perverted, Father Willie Wright - who one time smeared wet and loving kisses to the underside of a glass table with a near naked female officer No-Balls Hadley's vagina above (she unknowingly knew Willie was down below). If you wanna enjoy a laugh and a great read, check out The Choirboys!

Publisher Comments:

Partners in the Los Angeles Police Department, they're haunted by terrifying dark secrets of the nightwatch–shared predawn drink and sex sessions they call choir practice. Each wears his cynicism like a bulletproof jockstrap–each has his horror story, his bad dream, his night shriek. He is afraid of his friends–he is afraid of himself.

Kirkus Reviews

"You got balls like a elephant and a whang like a ox. . . ." "Her ass is so big she has to sit down in shifts" (this is one of the few out of the hundreds of gross remarks which you might find funny). . . . "How'd you like a shirt full of vomity squid" . . . or maybe a book full of vomity squid and other kinds of blue knights from the LAPD with assorted monikers like Suckass Sneed and Spermwhale or The Gook and The Spook. They work in teams of two by day and at night hold choir practices in the park with engrained rings around their collars instead of ruffs. These get-togethers consist of gripe sessions, sodden drunks on the liquor they've been freeloading, sex in seriatim with two inordinately capacious sluts, and practical jokes which sometimes misfire, like the time they accidentally shoot a fruit. Of course after making their daily rounds they may need a little relaxation: one of them drives a jumper over the ledge; another uncovers a long dead tenant covered with rat bites in a basement; another, a child sliced up like a London broil - or how about the infant carried around by a pair of pliers clamped to his penis? Only one of them, Baxter Slate, shows a streak of humanity and he all too justifiably kills himself. This is after one of their most successful encounter groups when the dick of Roscoe Pules (he "unconsciously" fingers his pulltoy at all times) is fed to a duck. Certainly not for William Holden, possibly for Charles Bronson - a brutal, brutalizing book-a obscenity in a toilet stall, a old centurion's duck soup?

- CODA -

Congrats goes out to Aoo Condon who got himself hitched this weekend. Nice job Aoo Dogg! Congrats also goes out to Superstar Tommy Harris who did likewise, the prior weekend. See ya at the field on Sunday!