TUESDAY MORNING CATCHER
- Sunday June 19th, 2011 -HUCK FIELD, St. John’s, NL
Another pitiful day at the Huck nearly ruined another day of ball, but thanks to KSSL beer bottle/can thief Japper, anyone who stuck around for the late game (the whole three of you) were treated to a little KSSL magic ...
4:00 p.m NT
12 
11 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | R | |||
| RR | (2-2) | 3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 11 | Final |
| LF | (3-1) | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 12 |
Jimmy Fitz’s RBI single in 9th wins it for Lester’s
In one of the better played games of the season, Lester’s Farm defeated Ron’s Roofing 12-11, thanks to a big game from Jimmy “Kool-Aid” Fitz (who earned POG honors), who knocked in the winning run with two outs in the bottom of the 9th inning.
In the top of the 1st, the Roofers jumped out of the gate fast by scoring three runs off of two out hits from the likes of Ched Whelan, Mental Murphy and Blair Connolly. Lester’s responded in the bottom of the 2nd by scoring four runs of their own, off RBI’s from Scott Murphy, the Kool-Aid Kid, Chris Ryan Jr. and JJ Dray, for a 4-3 lead.
In the 3rd, the Roofers first three batters pounded off hits, loading up the bases for Mental who would come through with a hard single, knocking in two runs. Ryan Foley added a sac-fly, giving the Roofers the lead at 6-4
After Connolly blasted a three-run jack, in the 5th inning, the game seemed to be lost for Lester’s, but low and behold they would not quit. After Dave Pike led the inning off with a hit, and with three balls on JJ, Mental Murphy, in total frustration, deliberately threw ball four because Lester’s wouldn’t take the bat off their shoulders. It would be Dray’s second walk of the day (he was a perfect 3-3, with two walks) and would help set up a Tommy “Super Star” Harris three-run bomb. Dexter Spurrell would add an RBI later in the inning, making it a 9-8 game.
The teams would then trade runs in the 6th through 8th innings, with the score 10-9 for the Roofers heading into the 9th. After a Ched Whelan sac-fly put the Roofers up 11-9, it was time for Lester's to put the game away. JJ, doing his best Derek Jeter impersonation, started the rally off with a hit; then after the "Super Star" singled, Koo Condon, who moved from his usual CF to SS because of Skinny Whitten's sit down with the puppet President Obama, and who played a brilliant game at short (minus a jock!), made a boo boo at the most crucial juncture of the game, allowing a run to score but more importantly giving Lester's an extra out to play with. Mike Brock would fellow up by singling in the tying run. After Dexter Spurrell singled, loading up the bases, the stage was set for Scott Murphy to be the hero but Koo would rebound after his earlier blunder by attacking a grounder, throwing Moe Smith out at home. So here we are with Jimmy Fitz, certainly not the Sundance Kid but close enough, hero or goat? Of course Jimmy would come through with his third and most important hit of the game, leading Lester's past the Roofers and into first place.
Game Notes: In the 4th inning Chris Ryan Jr. took over CF duties from the "aging" JJ Dray. It looked something similar to Ken Griffey Jr. taking over for Ken Griffey Sr.. We may have a new CF in place for weeks to come if Junior’s play stays like this.
- POGs -
Jimmy Fitz (3-5, R, 2 RBI)
Blair Connolly (2-3, R, 2B, HR, 5 RBI)
- NOTABLES -
JJ Dray (3-3, 2 R, 2 BB, RBI) Tommy Harris (2-5, 2 R, HR, 3 RBI) Dexter Spurrell (2-4, R, BB, RBI)
Ched Whelan (4-4, 4 R, 2 RBI) Mental Murphy (3-5, R, 2 2B, 3 RBI) Ryan Foley (2-3, RBI)
5:30 p.m NT
20 
8
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | R | |||
| PS | (2-2) | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 8 | Final |
| SI | (3-1) | 3 | 4 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | - | 20 |
Jason "Reggie" Hedges has a game for the ages, leads Irving to blowout victory
After a two week golfing expedition, KSSL's version of Johnny Bench, Jason Hedges returned to action triumphantly. Recently coined with the name "Reggie", thanks to Bas Whelan, Hedges would lead the way for Stanley's Irving, with four hits, scoring five runs and adding an RBI. But it wasn't the hitting and amazing (and I mean amazing!) base running from this young slugger, that amazed everybody on the day, it was the outstanding defense he put on display.
After Pike's scored three runs in the 1st inning thanks to a bases clearing "double" by Adam Smith, Irving completely bombarded Pike's with run after run after run ... They would score three runs in the 1st, four in the 2nd, and put up five spots in the 3rd and 4th. so the score would be 17-4 after 4. Game over.
This was a game with a few nice storylines. Smith after declaring "selfish solo home run!", after a Robert Smith solo jack, would in the next inning hit one of his own. He looked like a dumbass but hands were slapped, laughs were all around, it was good times for all. Later on, in dismal and rather pathetic showing, Robin Courtney put on a dress and refused to swing with bases loaded, with Gord Payne sitting behind him on deck. Courtney would look at all seven pitches before finally striking out looking, ending the only possible rally the team had on the afternoon. But Courtney wouldn't be the only playing to go down looking. Smith, who had two HR's and 6 RBI's on the day, would take strike three in the 8th inning, walking away immediately before Blair Marshall, who made his KSSL umpiring debut, even called the pitch. Steve Kenny would then go down looking later in the 8th. That has to be a KSSL record for backwards K's
The biggest headline of the day would have to be when good ole Japper showed up to collect his bottles in the latter half of the game. The man who was referred to as a "dirtbag" and "scumbag" couldn't wait to get his fingers dirty, when he entered Pike's Store bench during the 7th inning stretch. This is a big no no for all the folks in the league. Japper can collect his bottles but he has to wait until the games are over, it's written in the constitution. Flash it back to last season and the Jonny Murphy Incident, where Japper got all up into Jonny's grill; beer bottles were smashed, pushing and shoving was involved. Well Japper really has it out for the Murphy Bros. On this day Jeff Murphy was the brunt of a vicious and hideous act. After Jeff, in the nicest way possible, asked Japper to leave the premises, Japper bopped, yeah that's right bopped!, a beer bottle, striking Murph Bonez in the back. Never hit a man from behind but that's what our Japper did. Murph Bonez was somewhat traumatized over the events, accusing, "he assaulted me!". And assault he did. As of this writing, the RNC are looking into the crime and seeing how there were at least 20 witnesses, Japper may be doing serious time. The days where Japper sings O' Canada or throwing out the opening day's first pitch, may have come to a tragic end.
But even with these big storylines the day belonged to Reggie, who must had set a record for most outfield assists (there had to be four or five of those suckers). Baze Vallin was none to pleased with his fielder's choice declaring it a hit anyways, and I'm sure the other four guys weren't too impressed, as well.
Game Notes: Gord Payne may be human just after all. He would only go 2-5 on the day.
- POGs -
Jason Hedges (4-6, 5 R, RBI)
Adam Smith (3-5, 2 R, "2B", 2 HR, "6" RBI)
- NOTABLES -
Greg Buckingham (5-6, 3 R, HR, 5 RBI) Robert Smith (4-6, 4 R, HR, RBI) Steve Brown (4-6, 4 R, 2B, 2 RBI) Jeff Murphy ("2"-5, "6" RBI)
Jimmy Rodden (2-4, 2 R, 2 BB) Gord Payne (2-5, 2 R) Chris Murphy (3-5, 2 2B)
- NEXT WEEK'S ACTION (PRO-LINE: KSSL EDITION) -
4:00 p.m
5:30 p.m
- MAILBAG -
Hey lazy fuckers, send your questions/comments to cletus_van_damme@hotmail.com. This mock thing is getting hard to do, if you can read you can certainly type. The Condons are not the only people who can do this. So the mailbag is out or this week because it's getting annoying having to make shit up every week.Earlier this morning, after his Uncle Marty posted bail for him, I contacted Japper immediately trying to snag a first time and exclusive interview with him. Reluctant at first, playing a tactical and outmost difficult hard bargain, I was able to bribe this peculiar little fellow with eight dozen bottles of Milwaukee’s Best, four upfront, four to be paid later.
CVD: Hey Japper, how’s everything going?
Japper: GOING!? THOSE MURPHY’S ARE CRAZY!!! THEY SHOULD KNOW!!! KNOOOOOW!
CVD: Know what Japper?
Japper: THEY’RE FRIGGIN’ CRAZY!
CVD: But Japper are you not the one who broke the constitution of collecting bottles/cans that were still in play during the game? Didn’t you strike Jeff Murph with a beer bottle from behind? Didn’t you steal Blair Marshall’s beer that had a beer holder on it?
Japper: FRIG THE CONSTITUTION AND FRIG THOSE CLUELESS MORONS!!! I’M JUST DOING MY JOB!
CVD: Hey now Japper, just settle down, this screaming must come to an end.
Japper: YOU THINK THIS IS SCREAMING?! I’LL SHOW YOU SCREAMING, BUDDY! HHHAAAZSTHAAAAAASSSTYYYYHAAAA ... (Japper goes into some crazy loud pitched alien noise laugh)
CVD: Okay, Japper back to the point ... you struck a man with a beer bottle, stole from another, called them crazy, that they “should know better”, and for what? Cans you would have gotten without any complications if you waited only 45 minutes.
Japper: ........... ........... .......... (Japper is thinking very profoundly) IT’S HARD TIMES BY! EVERYBODY GIVIN’ ME A HARD FRIGGIN’ TIME! I GOT A JOB TO DO! I’LL LEAVE YA WITH THIS CLETUS, SOMETHIN' MY DADDY ONCE TOLD ME, “IF THERE’S ONE THING I KNOW IN THIS LIFE, WE ARE BEGGARS ALL!”.
Who knew Japper had a philosophical side to him?
- PROPAGANDA -
What is Cletus watching on TV?
From the network that has giving us the acclaimed drama's Mad Men, Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead, AMC's new show The Killing, based on the Danish show Forbrydelsen, is about a very hot 17 year old girl (I’d tap that shit) who is found dead in the trunk of a car, found in a river, that is owned by the campaign of a city councilmen who is running for mayor. Each episode spans one day in the case of solving ‘Who killed Rosie Larsen?’. Set in the the beautiful Pacific Northwest of Seattle (but filmed in Vancouver), The Killing is shown through three perspectives: the grieving family, the councilman’s campaign, and the detectives working her case. Just awesome stuff, the show is well acted and shot amazingly. It has this really awesome ambiance tone to the show that I just love! AMC has already renewed it for a second season so it’s definitely worth a watch - although next season could be an entirely different show with a new cast, but I say the two main detectives will be back for sure. You can blame this show for me posting the TMC on a Wednesday. Here's a trailer for the show.- CVD's BOOK OF THE WEEK -
by Erik Larson
This novel is beyond amazing. It's a true story of two men, with vastly different agenda's. One man is here to create a world we can escape to and imagine great joy, while the other guy ... well he likes to murder hot women in a totaly inhumane fashion. Leonardo DiCaprio recently bought the rights to the novel so we may be seeing this on screen someday. Leo will play H.H. Holmes, the killer, who is considered to be North America's first serial killer (although, technically, there were other before him).
From Publishers Weekly
Not long after Jack the Ripper haunted the ill-lit streets of 1888 London, H.H. Holmes (born Herman Webster Mudgett) dispatched somewhere between 27 and 200 people, mostly single young women, in the churning new metropolis of Chicago; many of the murders occurred during (and exploited) the city's finest moment, the World's Fair of 1893. Larson's breathtaking new history is a novelistic yet wholly factual account of the fair and the mass murderer who lurked within it. Bestselling author Larson (Isaac's Storm) strikes a fine balance between the planning and execution of the vast fair and Holmes's relentless, ghastly activities. The passages about Holmes are compelling and aptly claustrophobic; readers will be glad for the frequent escapes to the relative sanity of Holmes's co-star, architect and fair overseer Daniel Hudson Burnham, who managed the thousands of workers and engineers who pulled the sprawling fair together 0n an astonishingly tight two-year schedule. A natural charlatan, Holmes exploited the inability of authorities to coordinate, creating a small commercial empire entirely on unpaid debts and constructing a personal cadaver-disposal system. This is, in effect, the nonfiction Alienist, or a sort of companion, which might be called Homicide, to Emile Durkheim's Suicide. However, rather than anomie, Larson is most interested in industriousness and the new opportunities for mayhem afforded by the advent of widespread public anonymity. This book is everything popular history should be, meticulously recreating a rich, pre-automobile America on the cusp of modernity, in which the sale of "articulated" corpses was a semi-respectable trade and serial killers could go well-nigh unnoticed.
- CVD's BABE OF THE WEEK -
If you like young cute whores, as I do, you should check out Little Caprice. You may think she looks like the innocent and adorable type but this girl's profession is fucking and sucking cock on screen. She's too good to be true! Little Caprice, who hails from the Czech Rebublic, enjoys british pop-rock, spicy Mexican food and fucking doggy style! Her main turnoff is "long romantic talks". My kind of girl!
- IN MEMORIUM -
“I need a fucking elevator! ... I’m 60 fucking years old!”
Check out the big Clarance moments at approximately 2:35 and 5:15
Same song, but played in 1985 (minus Little Stevie). Had to show this because it’s too fucking funny. The 80’s were gold and check and Clarance’s dance moves!
- CODA -
Nice write up Cletus, keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteCletus, you continue to entertain...splendid work. Where can I get the number of "Little Caprice"??
ReplyDeleteJR
I can do one better, I hope you have some available hard drive handy.
ReplyDeletehttp://btjunkie.org/torrent/LittleCaprice-com-SiteRip/2756e4fa57a039e01f57b01c95bfd51f604c34450b77